and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
