It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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