We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
