so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
