His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize
