His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Randomize