I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
