if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
