Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
