now i know why i became what i already was.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize