If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
