eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
tell me about the fingering
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