Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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