thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
