friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
The Olympian is in my bed
FUCK WHALES
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
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