Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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