"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
