I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
