That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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