His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
