So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You are a booty call, not a friend.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
