Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
