is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Randomize