3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
