Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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