You work out of a Hotel?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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