Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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