Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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