My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
party gras won. party gras always wins.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Terrible idea I love it
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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