This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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