margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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