Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Randomize