i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Randomize
