dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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