Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
