we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
