dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
It's official drugs can't kill me
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
