thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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