Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
