I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
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