Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
