I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
