the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
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how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
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I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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