Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
