No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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