No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
