idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Randomize
