I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
