If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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