im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
you win again, gameday.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Randomize
