I think I won the penis lottery.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
