my vag is so smooth its legendary
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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