I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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