never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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