Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
