it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
