hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
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