Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
