i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
