remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
