then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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