i just sent this text using only my big toe
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
