I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I accidentally burped into my bong.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
