she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
