Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
