..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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