he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
did i just pee glitter
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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