How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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